(Please notice that ASS is the first part of that word… so don’t make them people!! otherwise – your a you know what:))
I’ll be straight up and to the point. The worst thing in life is to have people mis-understand you. But even worse then that, is if you misunderstand something or someone and you don’t ask you then create judgements. This is the worst. THESE are ASS-umptions…
Ahhh, the fluctuations of the mind those nasty little critters. Recently I was in a situation where my actions were being questioned, I’ll say that I was told I was not being judged, but really when you are questioning someone – that’s judgement. As I processed it all, I thought – how lucky I am to have this practice of yoga to help me really be in this place of understanding what is really going on. Many years ago – heck – even a few years ago, this would have brought me to tears. I would have dwelled on it for days, and probably would have retreated to some really not so awesome place of self-doubt and move into a space of not trusting.
But as I sit here today what I can say is this: I will never make this mistake. I have now learned first hand what happens when you sit back, watch and don’t ask questions. When you make assumptions in your mind, you allow space and too much time go by that fabulous stories are created.
I love the 4 agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I always go back to these things when I’m faced with tough situations. Mainly because to me – they are like a little cheat sheet for my yoga sutras! If you aren’t familiar with them they are:
1. Be Impeccable with your Word Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
As I move through this recent “situation” I have found myself in – I like to take time to evaluate myself – always – since I can’t do anything to change other people (learned that lesson LONG time ago) and ask if I’ve been doing my best, being impecable with my word, not making assumptions and NOT taking things personally… for at the end of the day – other people’s judgements on me or you or whoever are THEIR own projections of THEIR OWN reality!
Be good people, ask questions, be up front, don’t take things personally and DO the BEST you CAN!
Love, Peace and Light – M.